The Great Groping Wars
by Hippyemo52
Summary: Before crossing paths with the Vampaneze Lord… Before realizing Kurda was a traitor… Before battling in the War of Scars… Darren Shan and Larten Crepsley were issued in something far more dangerous…. The Great Groping Wars! LartenxDarren


**Summary: **Before crossing paths with the Vampaneze Lord…Before realizing Kurda was a traitor… Before battling in the War of Scars… Darren Shan and Larten Crepsley were issued in something far more dangerous…. _The Great Groping Wars_! DUN… DUN… DUNNNNNNNN! *plays organ darkly*

**Disclaimer: **All Cirque Du Freak characters belong to Darren Shan.

**Warning: **YAOI. Yaoi… *sips tea**clears throat**sings in opera voice* YAAAAOOI. Ah. And. Um… Swearing. Humor?

Mr. Crepsley has always been an odd, secretive mentor. One day, he could be his perfectly normal, solemn self. But the next day he could do nothing but pout, cross his arms, and huff about how annoying everything is. However, in rare cases, he could become aroused for no reason in particular.

It was an abnormally warm night out for October. Most of the vampires took this as a chance and went to the bathing hall – since most of the time, the water was freezing – as did Harkat Mulds, Gavner Purl, Mr. Crepsley, and me.

Gavner, naturally, was the first one in. He took a deep breath and bounded over to the waterfall. He did a cannon ball and his wide waist splashed against the water. Once in, he swam towards the surface. He started hooting with laughter after he spat the rest of the falls water that he didn't already swallow.

I grin from ear to ear, watching Gavner pull the Little Person into the water with him. Harkat dug his shot, pudgy fingers into the rock floor and tried to get out of the chortling General's grasp. Finally, after many tugs and yelps, Harkat fell on top of Gavner in the water. The two started tackling one another underwater, making me chuckle.

"Do those idiots not realize that they still have their towels on?" Mr. Crepsley asked, rubbing his temples.

"Well, considering Harkat was dragged in, Gavner seems like the only idiot here," I explain. "He jumped in without taking off his towel."

"I agree." Mr. Crepsley huffs.

I start to make my way towards a less populated part of the falls. To my surprise Mr. Crepsley follows. We arrive at a spot with only a few vampires. I sit down at the edge of the waterfall, sticking my legs in the freezing water. Well, I had to say it warmed up quite a bit. I looked behind me, facing Mr. Crepsley. He stared down at the water; his lips formed a thin line as if he was about to scream.

"Something wrong?" I asked, making him jump a bit.

"Aye," He says softly, smiling. "However, there is no need for worry at a time like this. Let us bathe."

I shrugged – even though my curiosity was bursting out the seams – and unwrap my overly small towel from my waist. I slowly inched my way into the water. Once in in, I dipped my hair in the water and whipped it around like a dog getting out of a bath. I look over to Mr. Crepsley, who is standing and looking around on the deck. I cock a brow at him.

I find myself start to study his body. My eyes run down his tall, thin frame. He looks so small without his huge red cape on. I feel my ears skinny to warm up. I quickly dive into the water again, trying to hide my blush. I break for the surface and realize Mr. Crepsley is already in the water.

He walks slowly – almost shyly – around in the water. He looks over at me and smiles warmly. I return the smile and start washing myself. I splash the water under my armpits and over my face. The water feels so nice; it feels like actual bath water, like the ones I used to take at home. I sigh. I start to think about home again. It's been almost six years, but I still miss them so much. I wonder how they're doing. I wonder if Annie finished high school yet. I smile at the thought. I wonder if-

Wait. What the _hell_ was _that_? Did something just brush by my ass? I turn slowly. What? All I see is a bathing Mr. Crepsley, and he's too far away to-

Unless, he ran over and did it– vampires are much faster than the average human. But why would he go to all that trouble?

"Hey Mr. Crepsley?" I ask, cocking my brow suspiciously.

"Master Shan?" He responds, dipping his short oddly colored hair in the water.

"Uh," I hesitate. "Nothing."

"Alright."

No, it couldn't be him. Why would he? What does he have to gain? What a crazy thou-

I spin around angrily.

"Why do you keep doing that?" I whine. Mr. Crepsley turns to me with a confused expression.

"What am I doing?"

I hesitate and clench fists.

"Touching me!" I glower at him.

"I have done no such thing, Darren." He turns away. I smirk. Oh yeah, smart ass? I quickly swim towards he and smack his bottom. I watch him freeze and stand straighter than normal. He turns and glares at me. My grin widens. I cross my arms across my chest.

"Why did you do that, Darren?" Mr. Crepsley growls.

"Do what?" I ask, innocently.

"What you just did!"

"What did I just do, Larten?"

"Y-You know what you just did!"

"No. Really. I don't."

"You just groped me!" He flushes.

I feel my ears start to warm up again and look down. He didn't have to be so blunt about it…

"Well, you groped me too…"

"No, I did not!"

I glare at him.

"You don't have to lie anymore."

His red cheeks disappear and are replaced with a smirk.

"Alright then. I did grope you. Are you happy?"

"Ha!" I yell, pointing at him accusingly. "I knew it! Wait… Why did you do that?"

Mr. Crepsley shrugs in reply. I clench my fists tighter. I close my eyes to keep me from screaming.

"I find you very attractive." He replies. I open my eyes and look up at him. His gaze leaves mine and his cheeks are bright red.

"Well," I growl. "That doesn't give you a right to grope me."

"Yes. I know. I am sorry."

I sigh.

"It's alright. I guess." I smile at him and he weakly smiles back. We both turn around and continue washing ourselves.

Well, at least he was honest about it right? And I mean it wasn't as bad as I put it off to be… I actually kinda lik-

I whip around.

"Stop it!" We scream in unison. We give each other confused looks but quickly regain our composure.

"Darren! Do not do that!"

"You! You stop doing that!"

"I did not do anything!"

"Shut up! I know you did!"

"Do not speak to me like that!"

"This means war!" I growl, smirking.

"Agreed!" He declares, glowering at me.

We both stomp off in different directions. 

**IT IS DONE.**

It's true. I'm making a drabbily series of Cirque Du Freak.  
This is mostly LartenxDarren but there will be GavnerxHarkat. YES I LIKE THEM, SO JUST SHOOT ME OKAY?  
You: LoL Okay. *shoots*  
/shot in back OW. OW. I MEAN'T METOFORICALLY.  
You: Oops. LoL.

**Comments & Reviews are always welcome!  
FLAMES ARE NOT!  
You: Trolololololol~**


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